Damien's Grief
by Fledglinglove
Summary: Damien's grief over the death of Jack. Please understand that even though some characters come back in my story but not in the book is because it helps my Fan Fiction going and make more sense.
1. Chapter 1

I am sitting in the library rereading the death section of the Fledgling Handbook.

_Fledgling, it is an inescapable truth that not all of you will complete the Change to adult vampyre. Please understand that during your years at House of Night, you will witness the death of fellow classmate. Prepare yourself._

How was I supposed to prepare myself for the death of my beloved Jack? Jack didn't reject the change, he was murdered. I hear a person clear their throat. I look up to see Dragon.

"Oh, Merry Meet Dragon," I start to get up to respectfully bow to him.

"Don't get up Damien."

I sit back down and Dragon takes a seat next to me.

"Ah, I see you have been searching for answers in the handbook."

"Trying to, but nothing in the death section talks about when a fledgling is murdered. Only about when a fledgling rejects the Change." I smack the book down.

"Now Damien, don't take your anger out on the book. It didn't kill Jack."

"It didn't help me to accept it either."

"We never want to face the fact that a loved one has died. It was hard for me when Anastasia died." Dragon said.

I start to cry, but I try to hide it.

"Damien, don't hide your tears; it's okay to cry and let our emotions out."

I don't think I can take it anymore; I don't want to live without him.

"Dragon, I don't know how I can live without him. I close my eyes and see his smiling face."

Duchess comes and puts her head on my knee.

"I feel so alone without him," I go on.

"You know Damien; I felt the same way after the death of my beloved Anastasia. But one night Nyx came to me while I was reading the handbook and questioning it just like you."

"What did she say?" maybe this will help me understand.

"She told me that 'Those we love don't go away, they walk beside us every day; unseen, unheard, but always near; still loved, still missed, and very dear', you are never alone Damien. The others are having their struggles too."

"Thank you Dragon, but I don't think they are."

"No? Go to the gathering hall. I believe that Erin and Shaunee are in there."

After that Dragon leaves.

I stay in the library a little bit longer.


	2. Chapter 2

I walk into the gathering hall. The twins are in the right corner. Erin's makeup is smudged and her scleras are red from all the crying she did, which from the redness was probably about 30 minutes. Her hair looks like she just came out of a horror movie.

Shaunee on her right, caressing her back; she is also crying, but her eyes are less red.

"Hey guys." I say.

"Damien, where have you been?" Erin asks through her tears.

"The library," I tell them.

"Dragon talk to you too?" Shaunee inquires.

"Yea, he told me what Nyx told him when Anastasia died. But truthfully it didn't really help." I sit to the left of Erin, "Got a brush?" I ask her.

She digs into her purse and pulls out her on the go brush. I pull open the heart-shaped folding brush and push out the bristles.

"Dear Nyx Erin, your hair is a mess." I start to brush her blond hair.

"Thanks Damien, that makes me feel much better." She smiles and her tears start to evaporate.

T.J. comes over and shoves me out of the way.

"Hey guys, I'm sorry about Jack he was a good guy." T.J. says.

"Thanks," I say.

"So Erin, how about we try again." T.J. comes on to her.

"Wow T.J., we just lost a dear friend and you think it's a good time to hit on my twin?" Shaunee comments with disgust.

"But," T.J. says.

"Just go!" I yell, letting my anger from the grief get the best of me.

I let it get the best of me, but Erin doesn't need to be hit on in the state we are in.

"You're not the boss of me." T.J. protests.

"T.J., you need to leave or I will drop you like a calf at a rodeo." Stevie Rae is here to save the day.

I love that Stevie Rae does those country similes.

T.J. gulps knowing what Stevie Rae will do to anyone who starts to hurt or make her friends uncomfortable.

"Yes ma'am," T.J. gets up and walks away.

Stevie Rae takes the seat where T.J. was sitting and I go back to brushing Erin's hair.

"Y'all okay?"

"We're getting there." Shaunee says.

"Speak for yourself," I say, "My trusty handbook didn't have the answer like it usually does."

"Hello Nerd Herd," Aphrodite greets us.

"I have never been happier to see you," Erin says.

"You nerds still crying over Jack?" she torments.

"You know Aphrodite, just because Z is still in the Isle of Skye it doesn't mean you have to be a bitch when something like this happens." I snap.

She always has to torment us; it is like she doesn't even have any sympathy. It's like she thinks she is queen of the house, which in her mind she probably is.

Her eyes look like they are about to flare and shoot out fire.

"Why are you so angry my princess?" Darius comes from behind her.

"This geek just told me that I don't have to be a bitch if Zoey isn't here." She points at me.

"Well to be fair, they did just lose a close friend. And you lost a classmate and ally."

"Ex-classmate, I'm not a vampyre anymore."

"She has a point." Stevie Rae agrees with her.

"But Jack was an ally to you, whether you like it or not." I tell her.

Aphrodite's expression changes from anger to understanding, or at least her version of understanding. Instead of saying something she just walks away.

"Please forgive Aphrodite; she too is having a hard time accepting Mr. Jack's death, whether she wants to admit it or not." Darius says before catching up to her.

"Do you think that Aphrodite saw Jack dying before it even happened?" I ask.

"I don't know, don't you think that she would have told us if she did?" Stevie Rae raises the point.

"But this is big, and she only tells the big visions to Z, and Z isn't here." Shaunee responds.

"I think that she wants us to suffer, she is acting pretty bitchy lately, at least more than usual." Erin says.

"Now Erin, we need to accept that sometimes people act differently when things like this happen." I defend the little hag, even though I really don't want to.

None of us say anything after that. We just enjoy the silence and comfort each other.

"Look, Stark is here," Stevie Rae announces silently.

We look over at the door. Aphrodite is whispering something to him; it must be about Zoey because Stark jerks his head toward the door and Aphrodite leaves out it; leaving Darius alone with Stark.

"If Stark is here," Erin starts.

"That means," Shaunee continues the sentence, like the twins always do. It is like they can read each other's mind.

"Z is here!" all four of us say together.

All of us start running toward the door.

"Y'all wait. If Z isn't with Stark that means that she has important business to take care of, without us." Stevie Rae says.

We stop in our tracks knowing that she is right, and Zoey is much more deadly than Stevie Rae when she is mad.

We go back to where we were sitting; away from all the other students.

We don't say anything with just sit and wait for the "leader" to come to us.


	3. Chapter 3

Stark is still talking to the Son of Erebus warrior. Zoey hasn't come into the gathering hall yet. I am a little worried, but I know that Kalona or Neferet haven't kidnapped her if Stark is here.

Aphrodite walks back in and takes Darius out of the hall.

After a couple minutes Zoey comes into the hall. She looks devastated, Aphrodite must have told her about Jack; even though I wanted to I'm glad Aphrodite did, I don't think I could tell her without crying. Stark stands up and gives her a hug.

Zoey and Stark start moving toward us, they are talking very low; she must have told Stark what happened because his straight and stern face becomes a frown. They stop just a few feet away from us. Zoey stops and just looks at us, she whispers into Stark's ear, and then she takes out her phone and runs out of the room.

Instead of Stark running after her he comes to sit with us.

"You guys okay?" Stark puts his bow and arrows by the wall before coming to sit with us, right next to Stevie Rae.

"We're getting there," Shaunee says.

"Speak for yourself, Twin" Erin tells her, I think this is the first time that they haven't agreed, "I have been having nightmares, look at my hair! Damien has been brushing the knots out for the past 2 hours."

"Erin I think you are exaggerating," Stevie Rae says.

"No, she is right," Shaunee looks at her phone, "See." She extends her arm to show everyone the time.

_2:30 _

It didn't seem that long. But apparently it was.

It feels so weird that Jack is gone. Even though I know he was trying to help, the talk with Dragon only made it worse.

"So, is Z okay?" Shaunee poses the question we are all wondering.

"Yea, she just needed to call her Grandma." Stark answers.

"So what is the thing you loved the most about Jack?" Stevie Rae asks.

"Mine is the fact that he was around when someone needed a tissue," Erin sniffles, "I kinda need one now."

"Mine is the fact that he was always here for a listening ear," Shaunee responds.

"He took care of Duchess while I was gone," Stark put in his two cents.

"His kisses," I confess with a smile.

"Of course you would, Damien." Erin jokes.

"I love how he was so tech savvy; he fixed my phone a lot." Stevie Rae finally tells us the thing she loved.

"I love how I always had a listener when nobody was around," Zoey came in to the conversation as silent as a ninja.


	4. Chapter 4

"What did your Grandma say?" I ask finishing the last knot in Erin's blonde hair and give her brush back.

She looks at us with a weary smile.

"She gave me a prayer that I feel we should say, and as always wisdom from her great mind." Zoey responds.

"Well let's get to it." Erin says putting her brush back into her purse.

We all get up, move a few things out of the way, and start the prayer.

As always Zoey leads, "Oh great spirit who made all races look kindly upon the whole human family and take away the arrogance and hatred which separates us from our brothers."

Other students quietly gather around as Zoey continues. I never knew how many people jack affected. It is amazing.

"Young priestess?" Darius speaks up, interrupting Zoey.

"Yes?"

"Might I suggest we have a House of Night vigil after this?"

"Yes Darius, we will have a small one after this."

We finish the Cherokee prayer and go outside to the courtyard and begin the House of Night vigil, Stevie Rae, the twins, and I in a circle and Zoey in the spotlight.

"Let's start," Zoey smiles.

The whole crowd becomes quiet, there are only quiet sobs.

"Air, I call to you, please come to me." Zoey faces East looking at me and lights my yellow candle.

A circle of air comes to her and follows her as she turns clockwise.

"Fire, I call to you, please come and join air," Zoey is facing South, looking at Shaunee and lighting the red candle.

Repeating air, fire also comes and dances along with air beside Zoey as she walks to the next element.

"Water, I call to you, please come and join the circle," Zoey is facing West, where Erin is standing and lights the blue candle.

Water also joins the circle and follows Zoey to the last element that is to be called.

"Earth, I call to you, please come and join your fellow elements," Zoey is facing North, looking at Stevie Rae and lighting the green candle.

Earth is responsive and joins the other three elements.

Zoey retreats to the middle of the circle.

"Spirit, I call to you, please come and finish the circle."

The element replies and the elements all dance together.

"Nyx come to us and help us heal the pain from the loss of our friend."

A big light bursts out of nowhere and the spirit of Nyx forms.

"My children, your friend may have suffered a horrible death, but understand that he is now roaming the Otherworld and is very happy. I understand that you may be having a hard time accepting that he is gone."

Her spirit floats toward me.

"Damien my child, merry meet," Nyx greets me.

"Merry meet your Goddess," I give her the proper greeting.

"Child, it is going to be hard to accept this, I know that; but you need to remember that Jack would hate to see you like this."

"I understand Goddess," I say.

"The road may be rough and long, but with friends it is easier than it would be if you go about it alone. Stay with your friends, their love with help you come to terms."

"I don't want to forget Jack."

"Child, it is not forgetting. It's accepting." Nyx responds.

"Yes, Nyx."

Nyx travels back to the middle for everyone to see.

"My children, please remember that we will all have our memories of Jack Twist. Some good and some bad, ones that are happy and may make us cry. It is okay to cry. But most of all, you are not alone; depend on each other in this time of need."

After her words of wisdom she goes and talks to Zoey.

"Zoey, very good job with your ritual, now complete it and keep up the good work."

"Thank you Goddess," Zoey responds.

"Merry meet, my children." Nyx says before she returns to the Otherworld.

"Merry meet, Goddess," the crowd responds.

Zoey thanks the elements starting with spirit, and goes counter clockwise starting with Earth.

"The ritual is over, merry meet everyone, and always remember the wisdom that Nyx has bestowed on us tonight." Zoey says loud so the crowd can hear.

"Merry meet," the crowd says in sync.

The crowd disperses, only leaving Zoey, Stark, the Twins, Stevie Rae, Aphrodite, Darius, and I standing in the courtyard.

"You okay Damien?" Zoey asks.

"Yes, Nyx's wisdom really helped me accept what has happened."

"Good, but always remember that all of us are here."

"Thanks Z." I hug her.

Nyx is right, it's time to accept but never forget.


End file.
